Philiosophical Quotes

J- You can't taste your taste buds.

Yes that's all I've got right now. Did you know taxes are due in 2 days?!?

How do you pee?

I was telling J the other day that he needed to learn to hold his pen.is when he goes potty so that he does not dribble everywhere. He agreed :)

The next time he went he came back and told me "I held it mommy" and I said "good job" . Then he proceeded to tell me "you don't have to do that because you don't have a pen.is, you have a uterus" I did have to explain that while that was true, my uterus was not used for that purpose.

And can someone please tell me how to explain to my 3yr old what a tampon is? He asks about those darn machines every time we go to the bathroom and "it's just something that girls use" just ain't cutting it anymore.

Recent Justusisms

We were driving in the car the other day and J was making noises. R says "Your Driving me crazy" to which J responds "I'm not driving". All sarcastic of course. He gets that from me.

We went to a mini wedding for one of J's teachers and the girls had little veils and the boys had black top hats and they paraded out for us to see. After the ceremony J announces"I'm a circus man"... You know top hat, ring master. I think he also put it on his back and said he was a turtle.

Then the other night he says to me "Mommy, I think I see my kidney" as he looks into his belly button.

Cute things he says

On our trip from the bus to the car at the fair, J was riding in the stroller and says "mama, it's gonna be an awful mess when we get home." Lucky for me I was about 3 feet in front of my husband pushing the stroller, so I was able to laugh and compose myself before asking "really, why?" To which he answered "because I've got lots of sand in my shoes." Of course, why else. Just too cute. I have to wonder where he hears this because I don't think I've ever said anything would make an awful mess.

Ummm Hunny?!?

NOT what you want to hear when you go tuck your 3yr old into bed after being gone that evening while Dad was in charge...

"we looked at pen.ises on the computer" HUH??? "yea daddy showed me pen.ises on the Internet" ummm...I'll be right back.

As I suspected it was NOT the Internet, it was daddy's anatomy CD-Rom and yes they also looked at shoulders, hands, legs, etc. He just neglected to mention that part.

Please don't say that at day care.

First Joke

Justus told us his first joke :)

What do call a dinosaur that's sleeping?

A Borontosnoreaus...said with just the right inflections.

Earf Day

Thanks to daycare, after going to the store today J held up the plastic bag and said to me "this is bad for da earf."

Yes sweetie, I know that. Now just remind me to bring my reusable bags.

What's that for?

J had just gone to the bathroom and needed to get into the bath, but before doing so he came to me and asked "mama, what's this?"
Me- You mean your pen.is? (thinking he was asking specifically about the head)
J-No this (pointing now under said pen.is)
Me- That's your scro.tum
J-What's inside of it?
Me-Your testicles.
J-What are they for?
Me-So when you get bigger you can help make a baby.
J ponders this info for just a second and then responds quiet pointedly and with a perfect facial expression "THAT, is never going to happen."

Justusisms

I wasn't personally there to witness this one but daddy said it went like this...

J-Daddy, why do camels have humps?

R- Well, it's to store water because camels live in the desert and the desert doesn't have much water. It's like a storage tank. It has water inside.

J thinks and responds- So what does the front hump have?

R-Water

J ponders this again, then says "then the back hump has cups."

J, the logical one.

Snort

Justus swears up and down that there is a piece of heavy construction equipment called a snort. I have asked him if he's sure and he even pointed one out to me when we were driving. Could it be some slang term or maybe a Bob The Builder name?!? Because I work in a construction office and my boss has assured me there is nothing called a snort. And J is not one that would usually just grab a name and assign it to something it's not.

Dinner Please

For dinner the other night we had cereal, yes I know great mom nomination headed my way. Oh and to top it off we made Chex Muddy buddies, even better. So when asked what kind of cereal J wanted he replied...

"Light Saber Crunch" of course he meant Cinnamon Life! Unfortunately we were out of Light Saber Crunch so Cinnamon Toast Crunch (CTC) would have to do. And yes, you would think that light saber crunch meant CTC but it really does mean Cinnamon Life, cause that's his favorite, and mine too. Would have made more sense if he said Cinnamon Light Saber, but I think I confused him when I asked if he wanted CTC.

side note-he's not real familiar with Star Wars...yet.

Justusisms

Today at school Justus told his teacher that he was a "Destruction Worker"

Yea, that sounds about right :)

Eggnog Recipe

Ingredients
2 eggs

Directions: Per Justus
take da egg, den take ahnder egg and nog it.

Daddy-how do you nog it?
Jusuts-it means stir

Cute Perception

Today we say a commercial for this battery operated mascara. the way J perceives things is pretty cute. First when they showed a split screen of the woman's eyes he said "she broke her face." And every time they showed someone applying the mascara he would cover his eye and say "Ouch." I ask him if we should get some for him and he will pass.

Justusisms

This time around we have two.

Said at the Chinese restaurant that we haven't been to in a long time.

"the cook made some really good food for me"

Said after I asked if he had to go potty and he didn't answer for a few minutes.

"Yes, I was just checking with my pe.nis"

Justusisms

First thing in the morning the last two days
"Mommy, I think my brain is hungry"

Which translates to "get out of bed and get me some food!"

Coffee

We're in trouble. This was my son's choice of words as I was paying for his very first Starbucks "coffee". . .

"I need my coffee Now!"

Yeah, can't you just hear the cashier chuckle as she says "we'll get that for you as quickly as we can."

Please do, can't you tell my son is having withdrawals, lol. Ahh the words of a 3yr old caffeine addict, at 8pm I might add.

Computer Time

You know your on the computer too much when you have this conversation...

J-Mommy come mer, I found someting.

Me-I'm right in the middle of somthing, what did you find?

J-It's someting gross *long pause* are you looking someting up on the puter?

Me-Nooo, I am not looking somthing up on the computer "daddy". lol

And I wasn't either, I was cutting up a pineapple.

Justusisms

Here are the latest:

The other day he informed me he wanted to ride a squad. I was like a what?!? A squad. After much questioning I finally figured out that it was a quad that he would like to ride.

Last night I had a headache and asked that he be a little more quiet. He said "I sauge it for you mommy" and rubbed my head, what a sweetie.

Memorable Quotes

So, some of Justus' more memorable quotes (so i don't forget)

Is this for your butt? (as he holds up a tampon)

She doesn't talk real well. (said to me in the presence of the mom)

R went in to say goodnight after school and then told J he had to take his shoes off and would be back. R came out to eat dinner and a minute later J remarks "are you having trouble?" Can't get nothing past this kid.

And as the picture depicts..."I'm takin my temperature!"