You don't even know how many times I've heard this comment. It started out with my Grandmother who asked if we knew the donor and then "is he black"? What would compel someone to ask a question like this. Granted I have no problem with African American donors and I think biracial children are adorable, but when you have two white, blue eyed parents what would make someone think they would choose an African American donor? If that had been the only comment it would have been funny, we made a joke of it, but we have heard this a half dozen times. When we went to our 3D ultrasound the pics were so dark and some had shadows that it was brought up again. Then at our first shower it was asked again by one of my friends. It's like, are you kidding me, why do you keep asking this stuff. And no incident is related, which makes it even worse. I think we are destined to have a biracial child even though the profile says and always has said Caucasian. So this morning we are joking again and Rach says well if it comes out black you'll have some explaining to do. I just look at her like "me why me, it would be the bank, I surly didn't mess around". She's so foolish!
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Well actually we have A Doula. Yes we finally made a decision. I know that was forever and a day ago but we've been sooo busy. Seriously, with showers the last two Saturdays and Birthdays the last two Sundays and Rachel's family in town from New Hampshire and trying to put baby stuff away and work...We've had NO time. Plus I think I'm procrastinating thinking that this is the last big decision we had to make and if I never made it the baby would have to wait. Granted I know this isn't true, but my mind works in mysterious ways.
Posted by Tanya at 4:28 PM
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
That was the question I got this afternoon. So I started thinking. When I first got pregnant we watched and waited. It seems like we waited and waited, for anything to happen because I sure didn't look pregnant and lucky me I really didn't feel pregnant either. It seemed like things were moving sooooo slowly. And now here we are at nearly 36 weeks and I feel like this has been the fastest 8 months of my life. Where did the time go?!? I have a feeling this is just the beginning.
Posted by Tanya at 4:20 PM
There were a lot of people there, some I had never even met before that are residents at the complex where Rach works. Including kids I would have to say there were about 35 people. It was fun having the kids there but the entire event wore me out! I was a bit confused because my friend, who says I'm her "best" friend didn't even show up.
Of course we got lots of stuff, but mostly not off the registry. Now we have to go buy all the stuff we didn't get that we still need. We got a ton of clothes, which we already have a ton of. I say we take some things back, Rach says keep them incase we need them. I just think we have way to many and would never be able to use them all. I think people go a bit crazy and all buy the 0-3 month clothing. Hopefully we can compromise. We also got a ton of bath stuff which I know we can use forever so that's fine and a ton of diapers, from P to size 3.
I'm just thinking about all the stuff we didn't get, and what are must haves that we need to go buy on our own. Perhaps crib sheets, mattress pads, pack-n-play sheets, changing table pad, stroller, car seat, etc etc. I guess we'll go do that in the next couple of weeks after we get the mess out of the living room and see what we have.
Posted by Tanya at 9:59 AM
Friday, October 21, 2005
If there's one person who can make my blood boil it's my boss. He is just so...arg! Such a micromanager even after he says he doesn't want to be.
So I gave him my proposal, not a demand letter, a proposal. I told him that we didn't need to discuss it right then, that I wanted him to look it over and get back to me with any questions, comments, suggestions, etc. For 3 days I heard nothing, then today when we're in our, as I like to call it "waste of time" meeting, he says "Well I looked this over, did you want my first impression?" Pause... "well maybe I should hold onto my first impression and look it over again later". I just shrugged and said okay. What can I do, he'll end up telling me what he wants and that's it. I've already decided that if I'm told to work FT at work then I'll suck it up and work FT, however I will not work OT and if that means not getting my work done as quickly then that's what it means. I'm not giving up my family life to try and please him. He should've just kept his mouth shut until he decided what he wanted to say. I'm not sure what that will be, but my next request will be to work PT at the office and PT at home. If that doesn't fly then I guess I'm putting a 3mo old in day care and working FT.
Posted by Tanya at 12:16 PM
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Well our first shower was really nice. It was fairly small with really only my side of the family (& one friend) there. About 15 people so we got to talk with everyone a little. We played a few games including baby food taste test and poopy diaper. Both yucky, but too funny! After the tasting game we have decided to try and feed baby from our plates rather then a jar. Yea me and the kitchen-aid attachment. :) We got some great gifts including a swing and a pack n play, which was very important because it's also our bassinet. We got a couple of gift certificates and clothes. There were some super cute things too including a baby book, some of the clothes, and the cutest robe and matching slippers for after bath. I'll have to post a picture once we get a chance to use it. We also got a "diaper cake". It was really cute, however can I warn everyone against them. I don't want to be mean, we loved it I promise, but man was it annoying to unravel all those diapers. Also there was something attached and we can't figure out what it is. I'll have to ask my friend to go back and ask the person who made it. We have pretty much ruled out glue sticks, although they are by Elmer's and glue stick shape. We have decided they are either crayons or bath paints. We're leaning towards messy crayons.
Posted by Tanya at 3:56 PM
Well I finally did it yesterday. I gave my boss a proposal for an alternative work schedule. Rather then putting him on the spot and discussing it right away, I told him to take time to look it over, think about it and come up with any questions, comments, concerns, or suggestions. I was so nervous when I walked out of his office I felt like I was going to be sick. Which makes me realize that it's not the pain that I'll have to control in delivery, but more so my nerves.
Basically my plan stated that I want to reduce my hours from 40+ to 32 hours/wk, focus mainly on A/P (right now my duties are all over the map), and come to the office for about 8 hrs a week with the remainder of my time telecommuting,it did say work at home but then I thought he would prefer the telecommute business language. I tried to explain that I think I can get my work done more quickly at home and that I will be available by phone or email when needed. I also said we would reevaluate it after 8 weeks to see how it's working. I have a feeling he's going to either be against it entirely (he's pretty hard to please), or he'll let me work at home, but want me in the office more then I originally intended. I've found it's just so hard to find P/T infant care.
Posted by Tanya at 9:34 AM
Monday, October 17, 2005
I've decided I'm not ready for the baby yet. He must stay in there until I am.
We need to go shopping and get everything else we need. My house is cluttered, which I must work on before he comes. I also need to scrub the floors and do a good thouorgh cleaning. I was so excited about leaving work and now I'm starting to freak out. The longest I've been off since I started in the work force was two weeks, and I've been with this particular job for almost 3 years and although I have used some vacation time here and there I have never taken a sick day. I'm freaking out because...what if I hate being at home? What if I love being at home and know I must return to this place? What if the temp does a horrible, or even worse, a much better job then I do? What if I leave loose ends when I leave and can't relax because of it? What if I should have taken off less time? Oh the dilemma!
Posted by Tanya at 2:36 PM
Thursday, October 13, 2005
So how do you choose the right Doula? I have no idea!
We interviewed 4 and have narrowed it down to 2. I'm determined to make this decision by tomorrow. They both cost the same, have been to about the same # of births and both seem like really great people, just very different from one another. One is very talkative(2.5hr interview), but swears she can be quite when needed. She seems like she'd be a good advocate for us and make sure we know all the facts if I ask for drugs. She was very comfortable with us and gave us hugs when she left. She's kind of a grandmother type and emailed to say thank you for meeting with her. The other is more soft spoken (30min interview), but still very knowledgable. She's about 30 mins closer to our home and seems very organized with lot's of relaxation tools.
Of the ones we didn't pick one was just too...no offense, "granola/mother earth" for us. I guess I felt like she was mostly against drugs. Heck I don't know how I'm gonna react when I get in there. The other has only been certified a short time and still works as an RN. During our visit she told us three negative birth stories. I'm really looking for positive energy here. One of her comments was "if you wan't natural, stay at home as long as possible because once you get to the hospital and get in bed I've never seen a woman get out". Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Well I guess I will let you know when we make a decision.
Posted by Tanya at 12:06 PM
Ok, so Estelle had this on her blog and obviously I had too much time on my hands this morning.
Google your name and "needs"
Here's what we need:
- to think about why she did what she did at the party
- to go shopping for a new pair of eyeglasses, and you offer to go with her.
- to decide what she wants and stick to it
- to get her ass across to the uk and rock the house
- most is a love
- your prayers!!!!!!!"
- help when she enters Manhattan's meat-packing district to helpthree transvestite hookers find out who murdered one of their friends
- to have blush that is very bright and colorful
- guidance and normal supervision
- to stop being so loud
Posted by Tanya at 10:01 AM
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Well I seem to have misplaced my waist. Hopefully it's not really lost and just misplaced for a few months. Sure my belly has been a growin, but I've always seemed to have some curve to my waist. Well, when I looked in the mirror today it seemed to be gone. Oh lordy, what's a girl to do?
Posted by Tanya at 11:10 AM
Okay, so Rach likes to see the changes in my pregnant body. Why, I have no idea, but the other night she looked at me and said that I'm getting, and she loves my "mommy hands". Mommy hands? What are mommy hands and how in the world do they differ from regular female hands? Granted, when I first got pregnant she said my hands got much softer, which I noticed too, but an actual change in the look of my hands? Hummm...Mommy hands.
Posted by Tanya at 10:46 AM
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Well a couple weeks ago I sat down with my boss and told him how much time I'll be taking off. I made sure to write it all down in black and white so he could specificly see how it was broken down. He didn't ask many questions and basically just said "it is what it is". Well he's right. It is what it is and I'll take all the time I'm alloted. My last day will be Nov 4th and I will return on March 3rd. It seems like a long time, but I know it will be way too short. Heck, he will only be 3 months when I return. I can take up to a yr of unpaid family leave, but we will have to see what our savings acct looks like after 3 months of disability pay.
I guess he liked the format just fine because he asked me to give a copy to our accountant, who is about 6 weeks behind me, so she could use the same format. We should be getting a temp in here for me sometime in the next two weeks and then I get to train them. I'm a horrible teacher, but like I always say...a monkey could do my job.
My next huge task is sitting down with the boss again to discuss my return to work plan. I'm not sure this is going to go over well but we shall see. I REALLY want to work from home and I know it can be done, but he is such a micro-manager I don't know if he'll be able to see the benefits. I have to make them perfectly clear. Fingers crossed!
Posted by Tanya at 9:26 AM
Monday, October 10, 2005
Well we are at 33 weeks now, which really is crazy. I'm sure something important must have happened between weeks 20 and 33, but time just seems to fly. Lets see, we of course had a couple of appointments which have been uneventful. I passed the glucose screen, which was nice, got my RhGam shot, and started taking a childbirth class. We seem to be learing a lot, which is great. The Dr. said to keep doing what I'm doing so that's wonderful. We had a 3D ultrasound and our little guy sure is a mover. I guess he moves a lot more then I feel because of the placement of the placenta. Recently we interviewed Doulas and just have to decide who to go with. It's down to 2 of 4. Like I said pretty uneventful, we'll see what happens over the next few weeks.
Posted by Tanya at 4:50 PM