Sunday, January 22, 2006

Our time in the hospital

After Justus was born I was in the hospital for three days. I guess it was pretty uneventful.

Birth Night (Tues)- I feel no pain! After he was born they whisked him off to the nursery with R close behind. I was left in the OR getting stitched back up. While this was happening I started feeling a little funny, kind of like my chest was heavy. I think it was just the meds. I realize in my original post I forgot to mention that they tipped the table in all directions while I was getting the meds, I presume to get them distributed before they poked me to see if I could feel anything. The anaesthesiologist was a really nice guy who said he would take good care of me. He even let me keep a giraffe with me that Connie got for Justus. That Giraffe stayed with me the entire time and stayed on the table next to me the whole time I was in the hospital. I didn't realize the anaesthesiologists were so involved, I guess I assumed they just put the meds in and that was that. After my spinal I watched him mixing another med and asked him what it was. I guess it was the Pitocin to help my uterus contract after the birth. After they finished closing me up they wheeled me into a recovery area. While there they massaged my uterus and checked to see if I could feel my feet. It's the weirdest feeling trying to move your feet and not being able to. I was in the recovery area for a couple of hours while the spinal wore off. I remember everyone filing in to see me one at a time. R had asked the nurse if they could bring the baby to me while I was still in recovery and they did for a few minutes. Things were happening so fast and I remember the baby coming, but R says I tried to breastfeed right there, but they only let him stay for a few minutes because of a shift change. First it was R and my mom. R told me the baby's stats and my mom stayed with me for most of the time I was in recovery. R left to let everyone else visit for a few minutes and they filed in one by one. I don't remember the order, but I know her boss came by real quick, her mom stayed for a few and her brother wouldn't leave until he saw me with his own eyes to make sure I was okay, then his ex-wife came in to say hi, which R and I didn't really understand why she even came by as we're not too fond of her. Then right before my mom left my uncle came in to say a quick hello. By this time they were ready to take me to my room. I guess they were full because I ended up in the "over flow" area. An older part of the hospital away from the regular maternity ward. It was no biggie because although the room was bland it had everything we needed and the nurses in the area were really nice. Our doula said "you never get any rest in a hospital", but was surprised at how quiet everything in that area was. I think there were only a few other women in that wing, so I felt like the nurses were there just for me. However I hate to ask for help, which I regret now. When we got to the room our Doula was there and had brought all of our stuff to the room. A ton of useless stuff that was suppose to be used for the labor. Once I was settled in the room they brought the baby back to us. He didn't stay with us that night so we could "get some rest", but that was silly because they brought him to me to feed and they were in there every few hours to check my vitals so I didn't get much rest anyhow. They brought me some food that night because I was sooo hungry, but it only consisted of chicken broth, juice, and jello. I ache and can not get comfortable when I do try to sleep.

Day one (Wed) My morning meal, yippie. Nectar, milk, pudding, and custard. I really am hungry. By the evening they have finally given me real food. I can eat again. It's sad that hospital food is the highlight of my day, but I'm in pain, can't walk or go to the bathroom and people keep poking at me. I won't even go into the more disgusting stuff that a new mom has to deal with. My highlights are food ( a hamburger for lunch a a chicken sand for dinner) and looking at my son, who sleeps a lot or eats. Nursing is hard because of the incision and also the fact that my chest is twice as big as his head and I fear smothering him. Not to mention he is having a hard time nursing as I have flat nips. The lactation consultant comes in to help me and gives me a shield which really help the baby latch on. Thank goodness he can eat too. My Dr. came to see me this morning. He is a very sweet and compassionate guy. He walks in and says "so how mad at me are you?" I tell him "Dr. L I'm not mad at you". I did get the cath out and had to get out of bed today. I first had to go from the bed to the chair. Getting up is exhausting. R gets to give me a sponge bath. Did I mention I hate being helpless? Then I had to walk, sounds easy enough, ALL the way to the bathroom, maybe 5 feet. Oh what a task. And to top it all off I have to go to the bathroom and let the nurse check after, so fun. What a day! We mainly try to relax and I think mamare came to visit. I told R to go home and sleep for the night so that she could go to work tomorrow as I know this whole thing is getting her backed up. It's late and I try to rest.

Day two (Thur) Breakfast: Eggs, potatoes, bacon, a muffin, milk and juice. Did I mention I sent R home last night and to work today? This was the WORST mistake I have ever ever made. Again let me say I HATE to ask for help so I try to do it alone all last night and today. Last night was horrible! I was in pain and I have a difficult time lifting the baby from his bassinet to my bed. I ask the nurse if it's okay if he stays in bed with me and she thinks it's not the greatest idea for fear that I might roll over on him. I can't take putting him back and forth so I go against what she says and fall asleep with him next to me. She can tell I'm worn out so she leaves him there, but also leaves my door open to be able to check on me. I get barely any sleep and I'm depressed. I try to rest during the day as the am nurse tells me a I have to, but it's impossible. Even with pain killers I'm uncomfortable and the noises my tummy makes are really quite odd. They say it's "gas", but nothing like I've ever felt/heard before. It sounds like I have pipes in there make lots of noise. My grandma R comes to visit totally un expected, as well as Connie. I don't think they wanted to let visitors in to see me since I am so worn out, but it helps. I'm in bed most of the day, but try to get up once in awhile to sit up since that feels best even though actually getting out of bed is horrible. Later in the evening Mamare and MaTaunte come to check on me as R is running late. I put on a happy face, but once R is back and we are alone I loose it. I am depressed, I am hurting, and I hated being alone and helpless. The baby will not sleep now unless he is on his tummy or being held and it's wearing me down. R asks the nurse if she can watch the baby while we talk. Even this makes me feel guilty, but the nurse says it's no problem. R and I talk for two hours and I cry a lot. It makes me feel better to have a good cry and express what's bothering me. It's after 11 and we are both exhausted, again. We bring the baby back and try to get some rest.

Day Three (Fri) They obviously didn't get my food order because it's the same things as the last two days. But...We get to go HOME!!! The Dr. came in and asked if I wanted to go home or stay another day. Go home of course (actually I think I said "ummm I guess go home") Not much happened, but we did get to get J's first pics done. They stick their finger in his mouth right before they snap the pic so that he will open his eyes. No wonder they have those funny expressions. The baby and I got checked and everything looks fine for discharge. Most of the day is spent waiting to leave and we don't get out of there until after 4. I make sure to ask for some Percocet right before we leave so i can get up the stairs at home. The ride home is bumpy, but I'm just so glad we are going home. What a day, we are both wasted! Now I just have to figure out how to handle this little guy. Vicodin will be my friend. One thing I do know, I love this little guy.

If it were not for my emotions the experience would have been a good one. Most of the nurses were really nice and the Dr. tried to take my feelings into account and give us time to make our decisions. He was great, as was the nurse who was with me during L&D.